Recent Family Quotes

On what we are thankful for:

N: I am thankful for all of you.
Madre: *sarcastic laugh* Ok now what are you really thankful for?
N: Ok fine, I am thankful for movie season.
Madre: That's better.


M on becoming Amish and having to dress plainly:

I think I could do it, especially if everyone else was dressing like that.


A, being jealous of me and N:

Hello nemesis.


N on Madre's phone etiquette:

Mom, I can hear you clearly through Megan's phone!

Context: N and I were together and Madre and A were together. N was on the phone with Madre, who wouldn't stop talking, so I called A to tell her to get Madre off the phone. Madre is a loud talker.

WTF???

So why was I late to work today? Oh, that's right, because I left my house without any shoes and I got about a mile away before I realized it. I was wearing these rain boots, only it wasn't raining. Seriously?? Who does that? It's moments like these that make it painfully clear that I am on the fast track up the corporate ladder.

Obviously.

Good thing I am smart enough to notice my improper footgear before arriving at the office.


In other news, my tree is up with a mere 700 lights on it. I could have used 800. There are 300 additional. lights around the old APT, bringing the total up to one thousand (you can trust my calculations, I am in banking). Seeing as my apartment is less then a thousand square feet I worry that there are not enough.

A Voicemail

So I have a bad habit of not listening to my messages. But Madre, she has a much worse habit of leaving the world's longest voicemails.

They go a little something like this:


Heyy Boogie, it's mom. I'm sorry I missed your call, I was belly dancing. Anyways, I just wanted to see what you were up too, I haven't talked to you in a few days. I will be available later, but first I have another dance rehearsal and then I have to meet a friend at McDonalds, I might get a hamburger and some diet coke, but I am trying to be healthier.... *loud background noises* Stop it Tardie! No! Stop! *laughs maniacally* Sorry I'm back, Tardie is just being annoying and won't leave me alone. So just call me back when you can.... I hope you have a good day.


And on and on and on. Is it any wonder I that when I finally check my messages I don't get past the 'hi Boogie' before I delete them.


Sorry Madre.



PS: Madre is dancing in the belly dance version of the Nutcracker this weekend. How does that even work?

Just Catching Up On Some Correspondence

Dear Tom,

I know you are a really talented horse and have a lot to teach me. However, I question the lesson you gave me on Sunday. See I already knew that the rider should not be going over jumps without the horse and landing in the dirt. Thanks anyways!



Dear Bien,

When we chatted in the elevator the other day I could not make sense of anything you were saying. All I got out of our conversation was something about a hospital, someone named Luigi, the hairs on the back of your neck, and that you are willing to help roommate and I unless we need something too heavy moved/lifted. Maybe if you weren't so high all the time our talks would make more sense?



Dear Shady Parking Lot Guy,

When you paid for my parking with "your" credit card and asked for cash, you failed to consider one thing: I don't carry cash. Ever. That means free parking for me, and hopefully less credit card stealing for you. Better luck next time!



Dear Christmas,

Only 38 days left! I can't wait!



Dear Molasses Drop Cookies,

I love you, don't ever leave me.



Sincerely yours,

Megan

Random Quote Of The Day

You ever hear Dad introduce us to people? "This is our daughter Dottie, and this is our other daughter, Dottie's sister."

Kit Keller, A League Of Their Own

I just love that movie.

And Now, A Product Review

I love my Reebok Stayball. It is super durable, bright (I love bright colors), and I feel better every time I use it.

But I have yet to use my ball for it's intended purpose. It just fits too nicely in my bathroom, the perfect height to sit on while I dry my hair. And I really hate standing more then necessary. Some people might call that lazy, I just call it an energy saver.

Maybe one day I will do some crunches on it.



Not today.

Speaking of Fire...

Someone is trying to burn down my neighborhood!!! Stupid arsonist.

Don't worry though, Brina's mom has bought us a ladder that can go down four stories. It comes on Thursday. We are planning on using it to let our friends in, and maybe for quick trips to Safeway for rations. It will be like living in a treehouse, that I have to pay for every month.

But really, if this arsonist burns down Gorditos I will be crushed.

Baby It's Cold Outside

Good thing I have my fireplace to cut down on the heating bill.

And don't worry, I have cheesecake, apple pie, three kinds of ice cream, and a donut in case I get a craving for something sweet.

In Other News...

This fatty stepped on my foot today, while I was giving someone a leg-up.

Thanks Red, I loved it. I know you were really concerned, but no, I did not break any toes.

Just Making Good On A Promise

For some silly reason Madre thinks I should write a nice post about her. So I will. And not just because my birthday is coming up either.

Madre has some serious domestic skills that she should be super proud of. Like sewing, scrapbooking, painting, cooking, cleaning, raising children, basically all of the traditional feminine duties. When she was younger she made stained glass windows, and taught classes on them also. She made both of these, and they have been hanging in my grandparent's house for almost thirty years.

 

Pretty nifty right? I think she should teach me how to do that.

Madre? Whenever you are ready to give me lessons, you may call me.

Pops Takes A Wife

My dad, Pops, he was in Hungary for several months and while there he found a lovely Hungarian bride.

Meet Wacko Jacko, chocolate lab extraordinaire.

Is it pathetic that sometimes the highlight of my day is taking my socks off and scratching my ankles?


I didn't think so.

Madre's Party: A Recap

Best thing all night. M and her boyfriend dressed as each other. I must say, Big Hands makes one ugly ugly girl. He is pretty worried about next year since M is always trying to top the previous year's costumes.

I would be worried too.

Also of note:

Madre's drunken bellydance (this can be seen at any party Madre throws or attends).

Someone thinking my roommate Brina dressed as an abortion (she was a heart).

An old guy telling me he prefers my electrodes (as he was staring at my chest).

The same old guy asking what's the oldest I would consider dating.