G-Tyne, the Bad-ass

Remember my first post when I introduced everyone? And I said there would be more on G-Tyne later?

It's later.

As I mentioned, G-Tyne has not always been known by that name. While my sisters and I (and cousins) were growing up she was Gaga. Then she was Gramma Tine. This was how we knew her until recently, when she decided to change her name.

She wanted her name to be spelled with a Y, as in Tyne. I guess the I is too boring?

Anyways, G-Tyne is a product of her generation (read: conservative) but she has really started to let loose. Last Christmas Madre gave G-Tyne a gift that will last her a lifetime. Literally.

Madre gave G-Tyne her first tattoo.

When I asked why she wanted a tattoo, G-Tyne responded by saying:

It was either a tattoo or skydiving and my heart can't handle the latter!

(and yes, Madre got a tattoo that day as well)

My grandma, the bad-ass.

Meeting of the Minds

Tales From Thursday Night.

Tonight I listened to this.

While making these (which I could die they were so freaking good).

And later watched this.



I know, I need to calm down, my life is way too wild.

Truth Time

-Sunday evening I got store bought cookies when I should have made them from scratch. And while I was at the store I didn't buy any food for the week (all I have in my pantry are walnuts).

-I use my library card (I know, nerd alert) not just for books and DVD's, but for free music.

-While on Benny Watch, Colorado and Pastor Matt each gave me homework. Pastor Matt wanted me to read Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (mission accomplished) and Colorado wanted me to read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (failed).

-I read in the bathroom.

Family Resemblance

I can't deny it anymore

Deal Breakers

I spoke with the ex this weekend. He has been searching for an apartment (or room) for the upcoming school year with little success. He went to look at a place on Friday which was only $250/month.

There is always a reason why things are so cheap.

This place had very low ceilings. It was advertised as 7 ft ceilings. Ex thought that would be fine, as he isn't 7 ft tall. However, when he got there and was actually standing in the space, he couldn't stand up straight.

He had to bend his head to the side.

He's 6'4.

That wasn't even the deal breaker though. He was fine with living in a place where he would never be able to fully stand up. Then the person who was living there said he would be going into ex's room from time to time to use the storage space that was in there.

The storage space was what made him decide not to rent the room.

Career Advice From N

I am a super athlete. Duh.

Ok, actually, I'm not. But as of last month, I have started riding again. After an eight year break. You can lose a lot of skills in that time.

A lot.

Anyways, I compete (or will soon compete again) in the sport of eventing. It's like the triathlon of the equestrian world. The three phases are as follows: (ordered from my least favorite to my favorite)

Dressage.

Stadium.

Cross Country.

Back in the day when I would go to small local shows, N always gave me this valuable piece of advice: First or die.

Her logic was this, if I got second, I may as well have gotten third, if I got third I may as well have gotten fourth, if I got fourth I may as well have fallen off, if I fell off I may as well have gotten hurt, if I got hurt I may as well have died.

Yeah, people (and horses) do actually die at these competitions

She is such a great source of support and motivation for me.

Now that I have taken the sport back up, I have hopes (however unrealistic) of competing at the elite levels (one day in the very very distant future). N, ever helpful and encouraging, suggested I attach the title, 'Olympic hopeful' to my name on everything I do. Specifically, to business cards and resumes.

Well N, I knew my 100k graphic design education would come in handy one day.

I will make up those business cards immediately.




-Megan, Olympic hopeful

On This Day...

Today, August 19th, 2009 is the 9th annual national Polygamy Day.

Hope everyone celebrated.

I know I did.


I bet Warren Jeffs (may he receive the same kindness he has shown the people of his compound) is celebrating as well.



In jail.

A Text Message

A sent this text to me a few days ago:

"I had a dream that I got my Hogwarts letter, and you took it from me and locked me up and went in my place and I never got to learn magic. I woke up with spots on my pillow that I can only assume were tears because I don't drool."


Well, A, that does sound like something I would do. I freaking love Harry Potter.



Benny watch update: the barking is under control, only now he makes these strangled, dolphin-ish noises instead.

Tardie Artie's Birthday and Benny's Big Adventure

This weekend was when we had Tardie Artie's birthday dinner. Yes he is one year older, but still a few decades younger then Madre. I am no mathematician but I am pretty sure the age gap doesn't change with time.

Anyways, since I am on Benny Watch he came with me to celebrate. I carried him inside the house, set him down and shut the door. Tardie, not knowing that Benny is a crazy escape artist, opened the front door to let the breeze in. Naturally, Benny was gone. He saw a rabbit and just took off. Tardie and I grabbed some meat and split up to lure him back.

That didn't work too well.

Finally he came running back, irritating the neighbors on his way. I picked him up and offered him the beef, which he turned his nose up at.

Don't worry Benny, I understand, I am a picky eater too.

We weren't taking any more chances for an escape, so he spent the rest of the evening tied up with an extra long leash.


But enough about Benny, back to the real reason for the get together, Tardie Artie. He cooked for everyone, and cleaned too. Tardie, I will come to your birthday dinners anytime.

He ended up with two cakes, one that I brought and one that Madre made. They both urged me to take some home, which I turned down.





Right about now, I am really regretting that decision. I could use some cake.

Benny Watch 2009

Remember Colorado?


She is on vacation with her husband Pastor Matt, and a few weeks ago she sent me this email:

Dear Onyong, (she means Annyong)

Please consider this if my neighbor doesn’t work out.

Watching our loving Boston Terrier Benedict from Saturday – Saturday. He really isn’t that bad, just needs to be on a leash at all times outside, and sometimes barks when you first come home.

What’s the point:

· I trust you because we are like the same person.

· You will make $100 Million Dollars. (actually just $100.00)

· You can have your own space for the week in which you can do Shred by yourself, bake all you want, wash your laundry, have a yard to tan your white body in, have the internet, watch network tv and use our state of the art DVD player.

· You will be closer to work for the week.

· You might become a Christian because of all the crosses and Christian books around.

· There is more, just ask.

Don’t worry if you can’t, just don’t get me evicted.

Now here are some of the joys of Benny Watch I have discovered:


He snores. Loudly.

He insists on sleeping under the covers with you.

He farts. Often. They do not smell pleasant.

On the plus side, he doesn't bark as much, especially since I squirted him with a spray bottle. Now all I have to do is hold the bottle and he shuts up. He also has stopped trying to hump me.


I think we are becoming friends.


FYI, Pastor Matt took these pictures

Potlucks

So today at work there was this potluck. Naturally, I went later on to scavenge for treats.
I was in the breakroom doing just that, when a coworker saw me eyeballing the fruit salad.

"You have to try that," she told me, "it's really good!"

"Oh, did you make it?" I said.

"Yes, and there is no mayonnaise or anything."




I haven't made too many fruit salads in my lifetime, so I have to ask:

Is mayonnaise a traditional ingredient in fruit salad??

On Plastic Surgery and Groceries

Hey, Madre?

Remember that time when I was in school and needed some money to buy groceries? I was going to overdraw my account but I threw myself on your mercy instead. You then apologized, saying how tight your own cash situation was. But Madre, when you follow that up with a chat about your upcoming trip to Mexico and the elective plastic surgery you were considering, I am not as inclined to believe you were that broke.

Don't worry if you forgot, I am here to remind you of these things.

Besides, G-Tyne gave me a monthly allowance anyways, providing I didn't "get caught up in the San Francisco movement".

So you are off the hook.



This time.

Disturbing

Read about this on my faithful CNN.

Gross. I can't stop picturing that part in the Matrix where they show all the bodies in those slimy pods. We could be eating that.

Here's hoping that:
A) This idea never comes to fruition.
B) If it does, that the FDA requires all lab meat to be clearly marked.


Side note, happy 26th Colorado! I promise I didn't poison the triple layer peppermint brownies I made you.

Greatness

Once upon this same earth, beneath this same sun, before you, before the ape and the elephant, before the wolf, the bison and the whale, before the mammoth and the mastodon, in the time of the dinosaurs.

Since today I have been feeling rather nasty off and on, I thought it prudent to share with you The Greatest Movie on the Planet.

Yes, I am talking about The Land Before Time.

This is my all time favorite movie, and really, how could anyone disagree? It was executive produced by Steven Spielberg, and has a 77% percent fresh rating over at Rotten Tomatoes.


It has everything you could ever want. Drama, action, comedy, The Land Before Time has got you covered. Not to mention themes of acceptance, love, and teamwork that can and should be applied to all our lives.

And who doesn't love dinosaurs? I know I do.


When I was sick with the chicken pox in preschool, Madre rented the video cassette for me. I watched it daily for two weeks straight. Now, whenever I am feeling sick or just down, I put it on and immediately feel better.

Many thanks to my high school boyfriend Brian, who tracked down a copy on DVD for me, without which my life would be seriously lacking.

Green with Envy

A, newly settled Island dweller, has purchased something we all want. Never in my life have I been so jealous of her.

She bought a new car to transport herself to school and high ground (her new apartment is in the tsunami zone).

It's a 1987, Honda Civic hatchback, that smells of B.O. (previous owners were apparently hippies).

Don't worry, it gets better. It's painted silver, except for the hood and the drivers side panel on the front corner. Those are black. There are also some large old speakers not meant for cars that were jury rigged in the back.



She is super lucky.

Swimsuit Season

As summer is ending, I have come to the realization that it has been five years since I have donned a bathing suit.

Let alone a bikini.

In public.

Ridiculous, no? We all have our body hangups and no one is perfect. I see people of all shapes wearing their bikinis with confidence and really, aren't we all most critical when it comes to ourselves?

So.

I am going to get over myself and just do it.

Bite the bullet.

Show myself.

In public (so to speak).

In a bikini.



Here goes nothing.

Supporting Cast Member

Meet Colorado:

She is my coworker who is from, and forever obsessed with, her home state of CO. We get along great, mostly because we both love Ree at The Pioneer Woman, and eating.

Colorado has been working for the company a lot longer than I, so naturally she knows where all the office food and candy is hidden. I will hold down the office so to speak, while she goes on the hunt for treats.

She trained me and hated every minute of it, as we shared a desk, which prevented her from checking her blogs. Now there is less hatred, because we are at our own desks (albeit we are sitting less than two feet apart) and she can read her blogs in peace.


She makes things uncomfortable because she reads my blog while sitting oh so close to me each morning. The pressure is on to entertain her.




Hi Colorado.

Worship

Nope, this post is not about religion (at least not a recognized one). This post is about my own personal god, idol, what have you. This is about N.
It's pretty obvious I worship her. And not in the nice sisterly way where you say nice things to each other and *gulp* hug. Our relationship is best described as more of the stalker/victim type, with me as the stalker (as if you didn't already know that). We spend a lot of time passing judgment on others and recommending books to each other. Well she mostly tells me what to read and I like it. N will even send me books I should read all the way from D.C. She can be so magnanimous.

I digress, it's too easy to get carried away in the details when I talk about my personal god, N.

Now I am not the only one that N has an effect on. Even my ex knew of her limitless powers and commented on them constantly. She is clearly the alpha in the family. Any dispute, decision to be made, we all default to her. She was (and continues to be) the master mediator, and can diffuse many a situation. She studied psych for her undergrad and is about to start her second year at American where she made law review. Now she can unlock the secrets of humanity and win all arguments (as if she didn't have that capability already).

I am pretty sure she is omnipotent. It's been suggested that N is just biding her time until she feels it is right, then N will take over the world via a Manchurian candidate (N has always been a behind the scenes kind of genius).




Just you wait.

Hey Madre!

I know you are in Hawaii. You must miss me terribly. I know I am your favorite daughter, and don't worry I won't tell the rest of them you think so. I also know you have to deal with setting A up in her new life on the island, which I am sure is trying.

But.... while you are there, I am sure you will have some free time, during which you might go shopping?? Don't forget that you kind of owe me. Remember that one Christmas you got me that camera? And you forged my signature on the warranty? And you spelled my name wrong? Yeah, you picked my name, including the spelling. If you wanted to spell it M-e-a-g-h-a-n then maybe you could have done that at birth instead of changing it in high school.

So anyways, you owe me. And I like new things. Don't forget I have lots of pictures of you. Like this one.
And this one.




Just keep it in mind. You know what I like.

Note to Self: Important Things to Remember

You are very allergic to hay. Tell Joanna about said allergy so she won't ask you to help feed.

When you do use your whole arm to break apart the hay, do not be surprised when ten minutes later you are covered in bright red hives, some the size of a golf ball.

Do not under any circumstance rub your eye after touching hay.

It is not a good idea to make steak and a baked potato in a tiny apartment when it is 90 outside, no matter how much you are craving it.

You will not feel good if after eating said steak and potato, you eat jellybeans. Really. I can't stop. It's making me sick.